Awards

 

We are pretty proud of these two.

Today we were invited to an awards ceremony.

Moise earned the Physical Education Award.

Along with the last trimester Perfect Attendance Award.

Dinqee earned an Outstanding Student Award.

An Accelerated  Reader Award which is totally cool considering just a little over a year ago, she couldn't read at all!

She too earned a Perfect Attendance Award for the last trimester.

Along with a Certificate of Achievement for grades and the Citizenship Award.

They have come a long way.  More evidence that Jesus is our redeemer.

International -Vs- Foster Care - God made it clear

Many of you know from reading previous posts that God had been stirring my heart.  I have learned to pay attention when God starts stirring but, if I can be completely honest.  I wanted to ignore him this time.  Actually, I sort of tried.  I wrestled with God in my spirit.  Sometimes my flesh wants, easy and comfortable but I wake up and realize this life is not my own.  His plans are always better than mine.  He fills my life with joy.  His promises are true and he is faithful.  I got pretty serious after a week or two.  I knew I needed to dig into the word further.  I had to step it up a notch or two, way past my Jesus Calling devotional.  Don't get me wrong, I like that book but I think you get what I'm saying.  I needed to know exactly where he was leading our family next.  Was it down the international adoption path again or was it to foster care?  Something mind you, I said I would never do.  I'm sure God gets a big ole' belly laugh when he hears me boldly state "I will NEVER....... " You fill in in the blank.

I so wish my lap top wouldn't have crashed so I could give you a better account for how God laid all of this out for us.  But for now, I will have to do my best piecing things together in my head to share with you all.

When I want to hear from God, I always have a pen and paper (or laptop) close by, especially in my quiet time.  It started at Created for Care in March on my date with God.  I know it sounds silly, but it is real.  It ended up being a very profound part of the conference for most everyone I know that went on the 'Date with God" On the date with God there are stations where you meet with God.  I started at the foot of the cross.  I opened my heart, mind and bible and God began to pour in.  Proverbs 24 is where the Lord directed me.  As I started reading I was reminded again what God had been whispering to me.  {don't worry about what the world says about how your family should look or act}.  A house built on wisdom becomes strong through good sense.  Through knowledge its rooms are filled with all sorts of precious riches and valuables (to me that means children).  Reading further I realized I was reading our family verse for adoption - Basically, where I got the title of this blog, so many years ago, Knowing Not Ignoring.  We cannot pretend we don't know.  My prayer that whole weekend was, reveal to me our next step Lord.  We are open.  We will do what you want us to do, go where you want us to go.

Shortly after I made my way around the room to a few of the stations a lady came up to me and asked if she could pray with me.  I said of course.  She said a beautiful prayer, no doubt the Lord was leading.  Then she spoke of keys.  She explained that she sees a vision of keys and that the Lord has a ministry ahead for me and that he had been preparing me for my entire life.  I received that word from the Lord and knew that I was to dig deeper.

I started a journal on my laptop (the one that died).  I so wish I could access the scripture and words I received fro the Lord over the next several days.  I looked up "keys" in the Strongs concordance, it made reference to the prophetic authority of Christ. Most of what I was getting was leading to foster care.  I had a peace that can't really be explained.  I made a few phone calls, talked to a few agencies and friends.  But I just felt like hubby and I needed something more.  I asked my beloved hubby to join me in praying for the journey ahead.  What ever it was.  International or foster care.  He said he would.  Several days went by then I received this email.

 I don't want to read into this in anyway but as I continued in my studies after our texting, I went to study the word right in this scripture:
·         GENESIS 4:7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.”
So I looked up Right in the online Strong's and this is what it read, not even appearing to be about the word right but being faithful???
539 'aman aw-man' a primitive root; properly, to build up or support; to foster as a parent or nurse; figuratively to render (or be) firm or faithful, to trust or believe, to be permanent or quiet; morally to be true or certain; once (Isa. 30:21; interchangeable 541) to go to the right hand:--hence, assurance, believe, bring up, establish, + fail, be faithful (of long continuance, steadfast, sure, surely, trusty, verified), nurse, (-ing father), (put), trust, turn to the right.

So with this word and a few other confirmations that came within the next several days, it is safe to say that God is leading us into the journey of foster care.  We start our classes in Ohio (after we move back in a few days) in June.  We are nervous and excited all at the same time. 

I have a few specific prayer requests that I might post in a few days.  I'm still praying and asking God if this is something I should share publicly or just trust that he alone will just do it.  Because I have learned that sometimes God wants us to link arms with others and sometimes he wants us to stand alone, with him.  He is faithful!

                   This is our crew on Mother's Day (I just love them)

Pizza, Showers and zip your pants

I think it is funny how our son can't remember to zip his pants but, can remember EVERY Thursday morning that they are serving pizza at school (his favorite). He even is nice enough to come and wake me up in the morning to ask "mum, mum, mum - you wake, mum???" As I roll over and try to remind myself that this child is a gift, I answer wiping the sleep from my eyes.  "yes, son. what do you need?"  He answers "me buy pizza today please?" - Me still reminding myself that this is important to him.  Not me, because my flesh wants to claw his eyes out for waking me up AGAIN an hour before I have to get up for the day - "yes, you can buy pizza, now please go back to bed without waking your siblings" - Um, too late, in wobbles a little person who is now "hungee" because his brother woke him getting down from the top bunk. OY!!!!

 So many parents (including myself) want the world to see a well adjusted, happy, dreamy scenario of adoption.  While yes, we do have days that are 'Norman Rockwell (ish)" some are not.  If you have read this blog for any amount of time you know we are not typical or even close to what most consider the normal family.  We have done crazy things for God. God has done crazy things for us.  No, we are not equipped with the super power of patience or the kindness and compassion of Mother Teresa we are just two knuckleheads that said YES to God and He has written our story.

*Disclaimer; I love all 6 of my children deeply.  I love being a mom I wake up every most mornings thanking God for the blessings he has placed in my care.  But this is real life for us.  I vowed when I started this blog that I would be real.

How can it be that one has been home 8 months and has been shown the ropes by every one in our home, including our three year old.  Something so simple like zipping your pants, brushing your teeth, throwing trash away, covering your mouth when you sneeze or cough.  I am rigid when it comes to hygiene. I like my my kids and self to look kept.  Not stuffy or polished just kept.  When he came home his habits were disgusting, umm, needed refining.  I started by showing him the soap, shampoo, lotion and deodorant.  Assuming he could get it right. Um, not so much. So then my husband took him in the bathroom and showed him exactly what his routine should look like.  Do you know how frustrating it is to try and get a 9 year old to wash under his putrid smelling arm pits?  Trying to get him to remember to put on lotion after his shower.  He fought us tooth and nail every single day for 6 months.  There were even times that we would send him in the bathroom hear the water turn on only to discover he is standing outside the shower.  Once he even escaped out the back door.  He would pretend to be taking a shower but never would take the dang shower!  REALLY??? Can you tell we've had a little bit of a 'control issue'?

Ok, so you know what did it?  You wanna know what made him start taking a proper shower? * I asked him to come into my bathroom and I turned on the shower and told him to get in.  He shook his head no.  I said in my very serious 'mom voice' get.in.that.shower!  He did, I washed him from head to toe with more soap, shampoo and conditioner then I'm sure he had ever seen in his life.  I scrubbed that boy with a wash cloth. Lathered him up with some serious Shea lotion and slapped that deodorant in those pits and never again have we had a problem getting him in the shower.   Can you imagine what he was thinking?  Now if we could only get him to zip his pants!

So you see older child adoption can have it's annoyances but like I have said many times before.  I wouldn't trade it for the world :) It's all just part of the process.

The second half

As I approach the second half of my life I am excited!  No, my birthday isn't drawing near just yet.  But I had always heard that 40 and beyond is the best part of life.  I am beginning to agree.  This hit me today during my workout.  Get ready for the run on sentences and poor grammar.....

I've come to a point in my life where I truly feel free (thank you Jesus).  I really don't care what others think at all.  I know our family isn't "typical" and that is completely ok with me.  I can look how I want to look.  I can dress how I want to dress.  I can go where I want to go.  Yes, I have been an adult for many years but something about being 39 is very freeing to me.  When I was younger I used to feel compelled to have to explain why I did what I did or why I thought the way I think.  Now it doesn't even cross my mind to try and explain.  My explanation is - I'm following Jesus and that is good enough (period).  I truly think 40 is going to be an incredible start of the second half of my life.

I had a minor surgery several weeks ago for some circulation/vein issues and 2.5 weeks ago I got my stitches out and the go ahead to exercise.  I sort of chuckled at the Dr. when she said "you are free to resume your work out schedule".  I told her that I had never been on a workout schedule in my life.  She mentioned that maybe once my leg heals I will have more energy.  That intrigued me.  I drove home sort of skeptical but thought IF I feel good enough, tomorrow I will start walking after I take the kids to school.  I didn't feel all that good but I tried it any way.  It was pretty tough. With a lot of bantering back and forth in my own mind I decided if I was going to do this thing I was going to do it right.  You see, I have been addicted to Coca Cola my whole adult life (even as a teen).  It was the first thing I drank when I woke up in the morning and the last thing I drank before I went to bed and every hour in between.  I'm talking a serious addiction.  So on 4/19 I decided this is it!  I'm giving up Coca Cola, I'm going to start exercising daily and I'm going to eat right. IT IS TIME TO GET HEALTHY!  It was TOUGH for the first 3 days.  I seriously felt like I had the flu.  I pushed through.  I have not had one drop of ANY kind of soda, I walk/run 4 miles 7 days a week and I am eating healthy!  Let me tell you, I FEEL GREAT!  I sleep better, I have a better attitude.  It is amazing.  People used to tell me that these things were possible.  I didn't buy it.  I do now!

So I'm pretty sure the second half is going to be AWESOME! 

Soon I will try to put together a post about how God spoke to my hubby and I  about what our next step is to be ..... International or Foster to adopt.  God made it completely clear and we are excited about our next adventure.

questions answered continued

WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO ADOPT?  It started when I was 12. I saw a mission trip video that my youth group made on their trip to Haiti.  That is when I heard the Lord speak to my heart about orphans.  But as I think about this question, I suppose it has always been 'in' me.  My mom is adopted. 

WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO ILLINOIS?  Haha~ Jennifer, I will meet you in Indy in June.  Hows that?

DO YOU DO LAUNDRY EVERYDAY? UM, no, not a chance.  I could tell you that I am perfectly organized and I do laundry on certain days and I neatly fold and press each piece and place them in the color coordinated closets and drawers for each member of our family, but I'd be LYING!  I do laundry when I feel like it.  Most days I wash and dry then hours or even days later I fold and put it away.  Usually when one of the kids acts up their consequences are folding laundry - they hate it but some of them are actually very good at it

WHY HAS YOUR FAMILY CHOSEN TO KEEP YOUR CHILDREN'S BIRTH NAMES?  It didn't start out that way.  Originally we were thinking of baby girl names before we got accepted into the program for Guatemala.  Then we got a referral just 1 one day before traveling to Guatemala on a mission trip.  We met Alejandra on that trip and she spent nearly a week with us.  Being thrust into the culture for 10 days really opened our eyes to how beautiful her country of birth is and we wanted to allow her to carry part of that with her throughout her life. - PLUS, we liked the name.

Then when God spoke to us about adopting "little boy Ethiopia" and we found out his name means 'walks with God' we chose to keep his name as well.  Then once we had two already with their birth names, we decided to keep the next two as well.  We did actually give the older kids a choice and they wanted to keep their birth names but really like their middle names and one said recently that when they are an adult they might go by that name - IF YOU ADOPT FROM CHINA WILL YOU KEEP THAT CHILD'S NAME, KNOWING IT MOST LIKELY WAS JUST ASSIGNED A NAME BY THE SWI? My first response would be to find out what the name means, if we like it, then we might keep it....

Just a side note, our adopted kids names mean
POWERFUL
WALKS WITH GOD
SURPRISE
and MOSES - and if you know anything about the bible you know Moses was used by God in mighty ways.

HOW DO YOU MAINTAIN ALL THE ENERGY NEEDED TO PARENT FROM A THERAPEUTIC PLACE?  In all honesty, I don't!  God gives me what I need each day.  He has shown me things about myself that I never knew were possible because frankly,  I am not very patient by nature, I like order, I like 'me' time, I don't like chaos, I like peace and quiet, but I do like to be busy HE IS FAITHFUL!  He has given me so much grace.  He has taught me how to turn around and pour out to my children what He has poured into to me through His word and worship.  I know for a fact that I could NOT do this without Him.  He promises to give us what we need and I have seen it day in and day out IF I surrender to HIM.
From a practical stand point.  I do walk and try to eat healthy (this is new, and I do feel great).

WHAT HAS DRAWN YOU TO INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION vs. DOMESTIC ADOPTION?   Again, God.  Since my husband surrendered to being open to adoption, we have been open.  Each time God has lead us internationally.  But this time we feel through intense prayer that we are about to embark on the foster care system.  So possibly God is opening doors domestically this time, only He really knows.  We are WIDE OPEN.  We will do whatever He asks of us!!

OK, that was FUN.  Again sorry for the delay in answering.  My laptop still isn't up and running and I am on my daughters home school computer.

I'm here and answering...

Ok, sorry for the delay in answering.

My laptop bit the dust and we are in the process of packing up this house for our cross country move next month. Yippee!

I'm doing this post from the iPad - bear with me :/

Ok so the first question was - Have you always been a stay at home mom? The answer is YES and NO. When Scott and I got married 19 years ago. I worked an office job 9-5 Monday through Friday. Shortly after were bought our first house. Scott got shared parenting of his youngest daughter. We decided it was best for me to quit my job and be available for his 4 kids. I was happy to do it!

 Then Savannah and Evan came along. Then when Evan was 5 I went back to school and got my dental assistant certificate and Radiographers license. I landed a job working 9-2. I basically job shared and was able to have the summers off to be home with my kids.The dentist was kind enough to accommodate my desire to want to be available for my children.

 I worked at that dental office as needed(basically never) until we moved out of state. I actually enjoyed working but I am in no hurry to return. But I do continue my required continuing education to keep my licenses current. I suppose one day when everyone is in school I will work part-time.

I will answer the other questions in the next day or two.....

Thanks for playing along :)

You curious?

Are you the type of person that reads a blog or a facebook page and wonders, what is that person really like?  Wonder what they do for fun?  Wonder if she is a neat freak?  Does she carry a purse?  Does she wear heels or flat shoes?  Do they use paper plates?  How often does she grocery shop?  How many loads of laundry does she do a day? Or am I the only one?  I noticed over 400 people came to my blog over the past two days and read blog entries and only a FEW of you all left messages.  And the TWO that did are dear friends and already know the answers to all our "secrets" - LOL!  I laugh because our family has VERY few secrets.  We are an open book. 

Ask me anything.  I mean it.  I'll answer (even if it is super personal or painful).  Don't be shy!  A few of you are new here and that is OH, SO COOL - WELCOME! 

So seriously, go ahead.  Leave me a comment and if I get some good questions.  I'll make a post to answer them.  This could be fun - or CRAZY!  You decide :)


ASK AWAY!......................

Do you see that?

In our family picture above - do you see that space? Yes, that one between two of our girls.

In November when I went to the studio to view the proofs of our family photo session, in each one there was an empty space it hit me then, like a ton of bricks. Someone is missing! I adore this family photo because it is 'just us' the true us. No fancy hair, make up or clothing but on any given day you could stop by our house and this is what you might see.

Every time I look at this photo I see that space and in my minds eye it is a big gaping hole. Someone is missing! Not only in this photo but in my heart. Yea, I know, we have 6 kids. We have been through FIRE to bring each one into this family. Honestly the thought of another process makes me ill at just the thought. But I cannot get past that hole. There is another Armbruster out there somewhere. I just feel it in my soul. As sure as I can see my two feet, I am certain there is another. But who? From where? When? These are the questions I ask God daily. Sometimes 10 times a day.

Yesterday after dinner the big kids and I were in the kitchen and we were talking. Talking kids and adoption (normal conversations in our house) they think there is another one of us too. Actually they say we need two more kids to make it even, ha! S said, "yea mom, we need two more kids because when we go to amusement parks and things like that, if we don't have an even number someone will always be left riding alone" - love them so much, always thinking.

So, ya. Although I LOVE our family photos. There is a hole. Who will fill that hole in our photos and in our hearts? Only God can answer that.

Anyone else see that hole?

Psalm 37:7 Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for him to act.